SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

OH MY GOD.

I nearly did it, oh my God. Doing something because of a sudden rush of emotion will never do you any good. (According to my experiences, at least.) I nearly added him on facebook again! If I really wanna get over this guy, I should stop myself from doing stuff that will just remind me of him. (But I got over my former crush without un-friending him... Arrgggh!!!)

WHAT THE HELL, DUDE? WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO TO ME??!! WHY CAN'T I MOVE ON??? WHY????

I think I have gone crazy.I mean, seriously? What the hell?

If only I could post it right onto your wall: birthday ko, batiin mo ko!

But sigh, I can't. We're not close, just mere Facebook friends. That sucks. The person I wanted the most to greet me on my day won't be able to do so. I guess I'll just satisfy myself by listening to his covers before going to sleep. What a hopeless romantic.

Did I just say "Am I dreaming?" in my own dream?

I can't believe myself when I woke up the other day, still thinking about my dream. I literally asked someone in my dream if I was actually dreaming because I was so happy and very excited at that moment. He said no, I wasn't, so I asked him to pinch me to prove it. He hesitated, but went on pinching me later on. I told him to pinch harder because it didn't hurt at all. I didn't know if he didn't want to hurt me or because you really never get hurt in dreams. Well, it just goes to show that I was really dreaming at that time.

So when I opened my eyes, I didn't move and tried to sleep again. I read somewhere that you will be able continue your dream if you just stay where you were the moment you opened your eyes, in the same exact position. But it was unsuccessful. I tried for several times, but the overwhelming thought of him being in my dream filled my mind that it made me unable to fall back to sleep again.:| Oh well, maybe I could dream about him some other time. Who knows, it might be tonight. I was supposed to wish for him on 11:11, but my Desktop clock now reads 1:41 am. Maybe I should re-phrase the last statement: Who knows, it might be this morning. LOL.

I wish that dream will come true.

Projects coming up, exams up ahead, a paper still waiting to be finished and assignments piling up--what a perfect week. And what am I doing right now? Yeah, blogging. Instead of starting to do these things to at least gradually lessen my work load, here I am wasting my time doing this post.

Okay, as people often say, let's just look at the brighter side. But, come on! Where the hell is it? If you happen to come across it, please do tell me where it is. I have been dying to see it.X_X

This post is so random. Please don't get confused if the topics suddenly change.

Anyway, I'm still weighing things up. Should I shift courses? I know it's getting late, but I still have this "driving force" to continue Computer Science. I have several reasons, but there's one that stands out--and I'm sorry, I'm not going to mention it here. It's far too private. Who knows, some of the people I know might be reading this. I don't want to be that obvious. I still want to keep that "mysterious feel", is there any?

So, I was browsing through some applications in Facebook yesterday and I came across this app which was called "Mystic Meg". (I told you, this post is so random.) I've already used that app several times before, and it's kind of creepy. Some predictions were actually true--or I just thought so? Anyway, yesterday it said something about a secret admirer blah blah and that he is wearing something brown. It was so funny, because the guy I'm currently crushing on was wearing brown yesterday. I mean, what are the odds? I know it's crap to believe such things, but so what? At least it made me smile. The morning of that day was my worse morning ever. So that prediction kind of made me forgot about what happened earlier.

Whoa, this post is kinda long. I think I'll stop here. Don't wanna bore you guys.

I can't believe I'm gonna post this here, but anyways, I'm doing it now so I guess let's just proceed. Well I really don't know what happened here, but it seemed to me like inirapan niya ko. I don't know why, I didn't do anything bad to him, I didn't do anything to him, for that matter. So why would he do that? Am I that much of an eyesore?

Because of an incident which I stupidly caused, I can no longer act like I used to when I'm around you. It's hard, especially when we're seat mates in one of our classes!

I should stop the ranting now, blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure you don't mind me. You don't care about me at all.

What a stupid post.

I get mesmerized whenever you smile, though it really wasn't for me.
I stutter a lot when you're around, though you never really notice.
I get happy just by getting a glimpse of you, though you don't know.
I get butterflies in my stomach whenever our paths cross, though it's just nothing for you.
I listen very well when you talk, though not to me. [this one's hopeless. and it's called eavesdropping!]
Your voice is music to my ear, though I seldom hear it.
You make my heart beat faster, though you're just passing by.
You never fail to complete my day, though you're doing it with just a simple stare.
I think I'm falling, though I shouldn't be.

Raining. The weather seems to sympathize with me. I'm not crying, just feeling sad. Today's the 4th month of not seeing him. Yes, idiotic, I know, to still be hoping to see someone whom I don't even know anything about except for his first name. Still keeping my fingers crossed, though. :)

I told you, I haven't given up yet. I'm still looking forward to seeing him again. And now, so suddenly, his face emerged from my mind again. I think I can still wait, I hope I can.

gloomy monday

This summer, as I expected, will be as boring as last year. For some reasons, I decided not to have summer classes so I ended up staying at jome the whole day while most of my friends are busy with their schoolworks. What's worse about this year's summer is the continuous rain. It has been raining for several days now. Another thing is me being broke, yet again. Consequently, I have failed, again and again, to satisfy my craving for shawarma. I've been craving for that particular food since my the start of my second semester last academic year.

::♥*♥*♥::

***I still haven't seen him. Sad. It's been almost a month. Crap. I have not given up yet, though. I know somewhere, somehow, sometime, I will still be able to see him, at least. Just a glimpse of him will do. Shocks, what am I saying? I can't believe myself.***

Thinking of You - Katy Perry

Oh I just love this song. It's pretty sad, though. A person who's already with someone, but is really longing to be with someone else. Aww.:( There's nothing sadder than not being with someone who you want to be with.

when I'm with him, I was thinking of you...
oh I wish that i, was looking into your eyes...