It has been nearly a year and yet, I still feel like an outsider. I know each one of them, but they have no idea who I am or that I even exist. I want to tell him so much how I feel about this, but I can't. It's my fault--I can't face them anyway. I'm too scared. I still have that feeling that he only settled for me. There's a whole lot of better ones out there, but he settled for me. They are a beautiful family, and, yes, I know the physical aspect should never be an issue, but I'm just too fucking scared. I hope I can overcome this. It's ruining me.

dot. dot. dot.

Start of classes is fast-approaching, but I can't feel it. I went to school a while a ago. Madami na ring estudyante, pero tinatamad pa rin akong pumasok (as usual). I'm still underloaded--15 units--I need three units more. I'm planning to take 21 units since I only took 12 last sem, but because of time and unavailability of slots, di na ata kakayanin.

Personally, I don't know what awaits me this semester (well, who knows?). I hope this is going to be good. Ginaganahan lang ako mag-aral pag mataas grades ko eh. Sana matataas ngayon para ganahan.

Okay, okay! Inaatake na naman ako ng katamaran, but I'll see to it that it won't eat me whole! I'll push through. This time, I wanna study hard. Kaso pag naman ganito laging hanggang salita lang ako. Hay!

This coming sem, I'll be taking cmsc21 and cmsc22. These two subjects are complicated and difficult (well, one of my closest blocmates told me that most of the computer science students find these two major subjects very difficult). Katakot. Pre-requisite kase neto ang cmsc11-introduction to computer science. Grabeng intro yan, pahirap agad! Programming really gives a bad headache! In making algorithms, there a lot of things to consider before even starting. What more when you finally came to the point na iche-check mo na if the program is working or if there are errors that needs to be resolved?

Saludo ko sa mga computer science students ng uplb na naka-graduate on time. Mga halimaw kayo. Share naman ng knowledge and understandings regarding our course. :)

I think that's all for now. Ang dami kong iniisip. Good luck to me and my fellow college students this semester! I hope we'll make it good this semester, and hopefully, sa mga following semesters pa. Up until graduation! Yes! Haha. ;)