SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

OH MY GOD.

I nearly did it, oh my God. Doing something because of a sudden rush of emotion will never do you any good. (According to my experiences, at least.) I nearly added him on facebook again! If I really wanna get over this guy, I should stop myself from doing stuff that will just remind me of him. (But I got over my former crush without un-friending him... Arrgggh!!!)

WHAT THE HELL, DUDE? WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO TO ME??!! WHY CAN'T I MOVE ON??? WHY????

I think I have gone crazy.I mean, seriously? What the hell?

If only I could post it right onto your wall: birthday ko, batiin mo ko!

But sigh, I can't. We're not close, just mere Facebook friends. That sucks. The person I wanted the most to greet me on my day won't be able to do so. I guess I'll just satisfy myself by listening to his covers before going to sleep. What a hopeless romantic.

Did I just say "Am I dreaming?" in my own dream?

I can't believe myself when I woke up the other day, still thinking about my dream. I literally asked someone in my dream if I was actually dreaming because I was so happy and very excited at that moment. He said no, I wasn't, so I asked him to pinch me to prove it. He hesitated, but went on pinching me later on. I told him to pinch harder because it didn't hurt at all. I didn't know if he didn't want to hurt me or because you really never get hurt in dreams. Well, it just goes to show that I was really dreaming at that time.

So when I opened my eyes, I didn't move and tried to sleep again. I read somewhere that you will be able continue your dream if you just stay where you were the moment you opened your eyes, in the same exact position. But it was unsuccessful. I tried for several times, but the overwhelming thought of him being in my dream filled my mind that it made me unable to fall back to sleep again.:| Oh well, maybe I could dream about him some other time. Who knows, it might be tonight. I was supposed to wish for him on 11:11, but my Desktop clock now reads 1:41 am. Maybe I should re-phrase the last statement: Who knows, it might be this morning. LOL.

I wish that dream will come true.

I miss my favorite classmate last semester(2nd sem, A.Y.2009-2010).T^T I wish I could see him more often--not just stolen glances, but actually see him face to face. Ha! As if I can do that.

Projects coming up, exams up ahead, a paper still waiting to be finished and assignments piling up--what a perfect week. And what am I doing right now? Yeah, blogging. Instead of starting to do these things to at least gradually lessen my work load, here I am wasting my time doing this post.

Okay, as people often say, let's just look at the brighter side. But, come on! Where the hell is it? If you happen to come across it, please do tell me where it is. I have been dying to see it.X_X

This post is so random. Please don't get confused if the topics suddenly change.

Anyway, I'm still weighing things up. Should I shift courses? I know it's getting late, but I still have this "driving force" to continue Computer Science. I have several reasons, but there's one that stands out--and I'm sorry, I'm not going to mention it here. It's far too private. Who knows, some of the people I know might be reading this. I don't want to be that obvious. I still want to keep that "mysterious feel", is there any?

So, I was browsing through some applications in Facebook yesterday and I came across this app which was called "Mystic Meg". (I told you, this post is so random.) I've already used that app several times before, and it's kind of creepy. Some predictions were actually true--or I just thought so? Anyway, yesterday it said something about a secret admirer blah blah and that he is wearing something brown. It was so funny, because the guy I'm currently crushing on was wearing brown yesterday. I mean, what are the odds? I know it's crap to believe such things, but so what? At least it made me smile. The morning of that day was my worse morning ever. So that prediction kind of made me forgot about what happened earlier.

Whoa, this post is kinda long. I think I'll stop here. Don't wanna bore you guys.

I can't believe I'm gonna post this here, but anyways, I'm doing it now so I guess let's just proceed. Well I really don't know what happened here, but it seemed to me like inirapan niya ko. I don't know why, I didn't do anything bad to him, I didn't do anything to him, for that matter. So why would he do that? Am I that much of an eyesore?

Because of an incident which I stupidly caused, I can no longer act like I used to when I'm around you. It's hard, especially when we're seat mates in one of our classes!

I should stop the ranting now, blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure you don't mind me. You don't care about me at all.

What a stupid post.