It has been nearly a year and yet, I still feel like an outsider. I know each one of them, but they have no idea who I am or that I even exist. I want to tell him so much how I feel about this, but I can't. It's my fault--I can't face them anyway. I'm too scared. I still have that feeling that he only settled for me. There's a whole lot of better ones out there, but he settled for me. They are a beautiful family, and, yes, I know the physical aspect should never be an issue, but I'm just too fucking scared. I hope I can overcome this. It's ruining me.
Showing posts with label shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shit. Show all posts
Friday, April 21, 2017
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.
OH MY GOD.
I nearly did it, oh my God. Doing something because of a sudden rush of emotion will never do you any good. (According to my experiences, at least.) I nearly added him on facebook again! If I really wanna get over this guy, I should stop myself from doing stuff that will just remind me of him. (But I got over my former crush without un-friending him... Arrgggh!!!)
WHAT THE HELL, DUDE? WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO TO ME??!! WHY CAN'T I MOVE ON??? WHY????
Thursday, January 31, 2013
No response.
Again.
Why am I being hopeful anyway?
It has been 233 days since the first one.
Still no response.
And now all I can do is listen to your covers.
'Cause I miss you so badly.
Pathetic.
Stupid.
Git.
You should have never sat next to me that day.
I should have just ignored you.
Silly me.
Idiot.
Fool.
Three years.
THREE FUCKING YEARS OF ONE-SIDED LOVE.
Pointless.
Worthless.
Senseless.
Useless.
Futile.
Again.
Why am I being hopeful anyway?
It has been 233 days since the first one.
Still no response.
And now all I can do is listen to your covers.
'Cause I miss you so badly.
Pathetic.
Stupid.
Git.
You should have never sat next to me that day.
I should have just ignored you.
Silly me.
Idiot.
Fool.
Three years.
THREE FUCKING YEARS OF ONE-SIDED LOVE.
Pointless.
Worthless.
Senseless.
Useless.
Futile.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
It's starting to really fucking sink in. Computer Science is NOT really for me. My brain cannot handle the required capabilities of being a programmer. It's times like this that makes me want to just stop whatever the hell I'm 'programming' and quit already. Too bad I'm too proud and won't bow down and accept defeat. I consider it as something unfortunate because I think not accepting defeat is a sign of cowardice. You can't accept your boundaries and limitations. As much as possible I really, really, as in badly still want to try. I don't know if I'm just too lazy to study and practice programming or if I have really become dumb and stupid. I don't know.
It sounds good, yes, hearing and seeing people's reactions whenever I tell them that I am a Computer Science student from UPLB, but what they didn't know is how much I suck as one. I am a big sucker for programming. Probably the dumbest and most stupid one. Please, people, when I tell you what course I'm taking and where I'm studying, don't have high expectations right away, because I hate disappointing people. If it feels bad to get disappointed, it feels worse for me if I'm the who caused the disappointment.
Have you ever heard of the movie called "It's Kind of A Funny Story"? Well, I totally relate to the main character. And this really got me:
I'm the type of person who will never tell anybody about his/her problems because I think people wouldn't care and will just think that it's no big deal and there are a whole lot of other stuff worth worrying about. Pathetic, eh? I know. But that's me. Ironically, though, I'm posting some of my problems here. Anyway, when that happens--when I'm on verge of blowing up--I would just go the bathroom and cry silently and talk to God. Pretty odd place for talking to God, eh? I don't have a choice. I don't want my family to see or hear me crying. It will be weird for them because they never saw me as someone who cries because she's got problems. They think that I'm someone who just laughs it off. There are some days when I just felt like shouting and break porcelains just to let go of this fucking heavy feeling, but that, too, is something I cannot do. I can't think of a place where I can do it! HAHAHAHA
So to end this post, I wanna tell you, guys, to never do what I'm doing. If you have problems, tell someone about it because you won't believe how much it can make you feel better. You have no idea how bad it feels if you just keep it in. There will come time when you will no longer be able to hold it in together and when that happens, no one will understand why you're acting the way you're acting when it explodes. So better tell someone about it, if he can't help solve your problems, at least he can listen. And that's already a huge help. You are never alone. You've got your family and friends with you. God did not gave them to you for no reason at all.:)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
exams, presentations..what else could complete a perfect hell week?
Exams for three days in a row, not to mention two on the same day, and a project to make and presentation coming ahead. These are the ingredients in a wicked recipe called hell week. I've finally finished two exams, three to go. I still haven't contacted my partner yet. We haven't talked about how we will make our project and when we will present.
Gosh. Pressure is building up all over me. To add up to that, I still don't know how my day would turn out tomorrow. I have two exams on the same day and time.
***I haven't seen him yet, for one week now. Where could he be? I'm just curious, just curious.***
Gosh. Pressure is building up all over me. To add up to that, I still don't know how my day would turn out tomorrow. I have two exams on the same day and time.
***I haven't seen him yet, for one week now. Where could he be? I'm just curious, just curious.***
Thursday, March 5, 2009
101 Facts
I got this one when I was browsing some multiply sites that I know. This one's actually from Bubbles Paraiso's account. So, here it goes.
1. The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.
2. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.
3. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions!
4. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
5. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
6. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."
7. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes.
8. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food.
9. "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.
10. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
11. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
12. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
13. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!
14. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
15. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe!
16. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!
17. One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet!
18. Dolphins sleep with one eye open!
19. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
20. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not
21. Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
22. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
23. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
24. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
25. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
26. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.
27. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
28. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
29. 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie.
30. Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
31. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
32. The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
33. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
34. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
35. A 'jiffy' is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
36. Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.
37. The average person spends 6 months of their life sitting at red lights.
38. More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money throughout the world.
39. Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile. So, if being chased by one, run in a zigzag line to lose it.
40. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
41. A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.
42. Ninety percent of all species that have become extinct have been birds.
43. A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
44. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
45. Butterflies taste with their hind feet.
46. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
47. In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to swallow the dice if there was a police raid.
48. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
49. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
50. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.
51. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
52. Barbie's measurements, if she were life-size, would be 39-29-33.
53. It has been estimated that humans use only 10% of their brain.
54. Most Egyptians died by the time they were 30 about 300 years ago,
55. For some time Frederic Chopin, the composer and pianist, wore a beard on only one side of his face, explaining: "It does not matter, my audience sees only my right side."
56. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
60. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
61. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
62. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA'
63. The thumbnail grows the slowest, the middle nail the fastest, nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
64. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had
65. Tom Sawyer was the first novel written on a typewriter.
66. If Texas were a country, its GNP would be the fifth largest of any country in the world.
67. There are 1 million ants for every human in the world.
68. The 'Golden Arches' of fast food chain McDonalds is more recognized worldwide than the religious cross of Christianity.
69. If we had the same mortality rate now as in 1900, more than half the people in the world today would not be alive.
70. The Black Death reduced the population of Europe by one third in the period from 1347 to 1351.
71. The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime.
72. 400-quarter pounders can be made from 1 cow.
73. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
74. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
75. Statues in parks: If the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
76. The expression 'to get fired' comes from long ago Clans that wanted to get rid of unwanted people, so they would burn their houses instead of killing them, creating the term 'Got fired'.
77. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
78. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
79. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
80. When a Hawaiian woman wears a flower over her left ear, it means that she is not available.
81. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.
82. The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.
83. The following sentence: 'A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.' Contains the nine different pronunciations of "ough" in the English Language.
84. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
85. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
86. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
87. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar
88. A piece of paper can be folded no more then 9 times.
89. 2,000 pounds of space dust and other space debris fall on the Earth every day.
90. There are 1,575 steps from the ground floor to the top of the Empire State building.
91. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
92. In the Philippine jungle, the yo-yo was first used as a weapon.
93. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
94. There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo
95. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
96. The average woman consumes 6 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.
97. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
98. Weatherman Willard Scott was the first original Ronald McDonald
99. Einstein couldn't speak fluently until after his ninth birthday. His parents thought he was mentally retarded.
100. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
101. To Ensure Promptness, one is expected to pay beyond the value of service – hence the later abbreviation: T.I.P.
Well, that's all. There are a lot of "Owws-talaga?-Haha!" moments as I was reading this one. Some are funny, some are unbelievable, some makes you realize that it was right and some are, well, it's for you to decide. :D Anyways, it's getting late. Good thing I was able to finish my take home exercises for cmsc21, which due until 12 midnight.
Goodnight. :)
1. The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.
2. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.
3. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions!
4. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
5. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
6. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."
7. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes.
8. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food.
9. "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.
10. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
11. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
12. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
13. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!
14. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
15. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe!
16. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!
17. One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet!
18. Dolphins sleep with one eye open!
19. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
20. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not
21. Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
22. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
23. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
24. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
25. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
26. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.
27. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
28. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
29. 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie.
30. Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
31. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
32. The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
33. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
34. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
35. A 'jiffy' is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
36. Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.
37. The average person spends 6 months of their life sitting at red lights.
38. More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money throughout the world.
39. Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile. So, if being chased by one, run in a zigzag line to lose it.
40. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
41. A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.
42. Ninety percent of all species that have become extinct have been birds.
43. A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
44. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
45. Butterflies taste with their hind feet.
46. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
47. In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to swallow the dice if there was a police raid.
48. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
49. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
50. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.
51. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
52. Barbie's measurements, if she were life-size, would be 39-29-33.
53. It has been estimated that humans use only 10% of their brain.
54. Most Egyptians died by the time they were 30 about 300 years ago,
55. For some time Frederic Chopin, the composer and pianist, wore a beard on only one side of his face, explaining: "It does not matter, my audience sees only my right side."
56. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
60. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
61. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
62. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA'
63. The thumbnail grows the slowest, the middle nail the fastest, nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
64. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had
65. Tom Sawyer was the first novel written on a typewriter.
66. If Texas were a country, its GNP would be the fifth largest of any country in the world.
67. There are 1 million ants for every human in the world.
68. The 'Golden Arches' of fast food chain McDonalds is more recognized worldwide than the religious cross of Christianity.
69. If we had the same mortality rate now as in 1900, more than half the people in the world today would not be alive.
70. The Black Death reduced the population of Europe by one third in the period from 1347 to 1351.
71. The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime.
72. 400-quarter pounders can be made from 1 cow.
73. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
74. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
75. Statues in parks: If the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
76. The expression 'to get fired' comes from long ago Clans that wanted to get rid of unwanted people, so they would burn their houses instead of killing them, creating the term 'Got fired'.
77. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
78. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
79. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
80. When a Hawaiian woman wears a flower over her left ear, it means that she is not available.
81. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.
82. The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.
83. The following sentence: 'A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.' Contains the nine different pronunciations of "ough" in the English Language.
84. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
85. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
86. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
87. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar
88. A piece of paper can be folded no more then 9 times.
89. 2,000 pounds of space dust and other space debris fall on the Earth every day.
90. There are 1,575 steps from the ground floor to the top of the Empire State building.
91. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
92. In the Philippine jungle, the yo-yo was first used as a weapon.
93. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
94. There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo
95. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
96. The average woman consumes 6 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.
97. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
98. Weatherman Willard Scott was the first original Ronald McDonald
99. Einstein couldn't speak fluently until after his ninth birthday. His parents thought he was mentally retarded.
100. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
101. To Ensure Promptness, one is expected to pay beyond the value of service – hence the later abbreviation: T.I.P.
Well, that's all. There are a lot of "Owws-talaga?-Haha!" moments as I was reading this one. Some are funny, some are unbelievable, some makes you realize that it was right and some are, well, it's for you to decide. :D Anyways, it's getting late. Good thing I was able to finish my take home exercises for cmsc21, which due until 12 midnight.
Goodnight. :)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
sapul!
Later this morning, as I was on my way home, I came across some guys wearing exactly the same shirts. There's a simple sentence imprinted at the back. A very subtle sentence that made a huge impact on me.
"Ang tamad talo...
nasa UPLB ka.."
nasa UPLB ka.."
The first line was all in capital letters and the latter was in bold letters. I think I don't deserve to wear that shirt. A really good message to students, not just in UPLB, but to all the students in general. Ang galing ko magsalita noh, parang ang sipag-sipag ko eh. Tsk.
It's a bit funny, though. Nananadya talaga. I read it when I was currently thinking about my research paper, that I still haven't started yet due to unimportant and non-sense reasons.
Uh-oh..
It's a bit funny, though. Nananadya talaga. I read it when I was currently thinking about my research paper, that I still haven't started yet due to unimportant and non-sense reasons.
Uh-oh..
Saturday, December 27, 2008
1 week left..T_T
Saturday. One week na lang pasukan na naman. I still have a lot to do. Di ko pa nasasagutan yung first two exercises sa cmsc21 at hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ung scenario na sinasabi sa 22. I've been asking my classmates about it, but they all have the same answer, "Hindi ko din alam eh."
Paano na?
Waaa.. Sana bumagal ang panahon. Ayoko pang oumasok. :((
Paano na?
Waaa.. Sana bumagal ang panahon. Ayoko pang oumasok. :((
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