So hopeless. I've got a project due on Friday and guess what? I still haven't started! So much for model student. And what's worse is, I may have a scheduled final exam on the presentation day. I hope they won't happen simultaneously. It would literally kill me. Calling all saints and of course, God for help. I need you all. Help me. 911.

die trying

I'm all messed up.
I don't do my duties and I'm being irresponsible when it comes to my academic requirements.
Whenever I tell myself to do this and that, I still, always end up not doing them.
I'm so unorganized.
I have a severe mañana habit.
Whenever I find it hard to do something, I don't even exert an effort to try to work it out.
I have a bad social life.
I'm still stuck in my old study habits.
I spend more time on unnecessary things than on the essential ones.
I ask too many questions.
I'm always late at everything.
I don't take things seriously.
I have lots of alibis and excuses.
I hate this.

I'll improve myself, promise! I will not break that. I'm just not yet ready to start all over again. But I'll do it, in time. Well of course, before it's too late. Better yet, I'll do it now. I know I can, I just always take things for granted and end up doing nothing. Argh. I'll make it happen this time. I will.

i was so nervous one minute, but got relieved the next..•_•

This semester, I had to re-take of one my subjects I already took during my very first semester. The story is that my former teacher did not accept my paper since it lacked sources. I only had three, no scratch that, two sources for my paper. Okay, I know, it's all my fault. I did not take that subject seriously and just went as an easygoing student. Why was I an easygoing student then?

1. I still can't get over my high school life. When I was in high school, I didn't study hard. When some of my classmates were burning their eyebrows and studying hard for long tests and quizzes, I was there, watching tv, going to places, hanging out with my friends, and not even opening or visiting the pages of my books. I, unfortunately, carried this attitude until my first semester as a college freshman. But now, I can say I changed a bit. Basta, alam ko. Wag nang umangal.:D
2. I was not aware of the time. Well I actually am, but I did not mind. I thought I still have a lot until I noticed, wala na pala. Okay, that sucks. I am such a good way to illustrate people having mañana habit. And still the bottom line is, time is gold! Use it wisely.
3. I don't know what I should do. Actually, I didn't have a clear idea in mind that time. What should I write? Well that's actually a problem. I suck in writing(if you noticed my posts). I am bad when it comes to organizing ideas and relating them to each other. Even if she accepted my paper, I doubt it if she's going to give me a good grade.
4. Okay! My hands are up! I'm irresponsible. Hindi ko inasikaso. Period.

Just this morning, I finally formulated my research topic. I went to my professor to consult it. I'm so nervous. Her first reaction?

"Masyado tong broad, iha."

So she asked me to narrow it down. Oh no, I can't think of anything that I can extract from my topic. It took me a while to finally show her what I wrote. I patterned it from the examples she always mentions in class. She said it was good and gave me an assignment, she wants me to make a tentative thesis statement regarding my topic. And so, my consultation turned out good. I faced my fear. I'm always afraid to talk to my teachers. I don't know why. Basta ganun eh.

Hay. I went home happy. I overcame something I've been avoiding ever since. It feels good. ;)