Things I wanted to say if you were still listening.

• Why? What did I do?
• Is it my skin? My personality? My attitude?
• Is it because I don't like video calls?
• Is it because I still don't want kids at the moment, and I'm still not sure if I would ever want them?
• Am I immature?
• Am I irresponsible? That I'm not good at doing household chores?
• Why did you build me up that way only to abandon me afterwards?
• I was already saying my goodbyes before I slept, why did you have to reassure me that you still want us?
• Why didn't you just let me go that time? At least it would be mutual.
• Why did you give me hope?
• I really liked you, you know. I was beginning to picture my life with you.
• You made me believe that maybe, just maybe I finally met someone who respects me and cares about me.
• I was wrong again. And much worse this time.
• It only lasted a fucking week.

Fuck my life.

Guess what?

I got fucking ghosted. And he made sure I won't be able to contact him, he even ended the chat on Bumble!

There I was crying my fucking eyes out thinking yet again that there is something wrong with me, then he pulls this fucking shit on me? I poured my fucking heart out! I told you everything! I was vulnerable! I thought I finally met someone who will actually treat me right! But here we are. Back to square one. I have to build myself back up again.

Fucking fuck! Love is so fucking shitty!