As I grow older, my self-loathing deepens and gets stronger. I can say with absolute certantainty that I hate myself now more than ever. I have grown more pathetic, petty, miserable, and bitter. To make things worse, I have become uglier--I didn't think it was possible--but yes, I have become uglier and fatter. My shape, one of the very few things I can boast about myself has become dismal. My jaw line? History. My thighs? Can't even wear my trusty F21 pants anymore--apparently my thighs ripped the lining.

Damn.

I need to fucking to pull myself together.

I mean, I have always hated myself--that's not news--but at least I got myself together. I should stop thinking about him and all the people who doesn't give a shit about me. How much of a fucking idiot am I to still worry about an asshole who have always found it easy to curse, insult, and degrade me?

This time think about you.

YOU.

It's fucking hard, but, please, try.

Just try.