I have no self-respect left.

I have begged again and again to fix everything, but still nothing.

He was so mad at me for snapping at him.

But..

That's what he does to me before. He even blackmailed me at one point, but I forgave him. He never got this kind of treatment from me. He would keep flooding me messages and calls until I replied--not nice messages, mind you.

And still: HE NEVER GOT THIS KIND OF TREATMENT FROM ME.

He changed. He doesn't care anymore. If we talk or not. If we fix things or not. If I'm still here or not.

He says he wants to be alone, I respect that. I just wish you could respect that as well whenever I feel like that, too. When I tell you that, you'll just get mad and complain why you're damay plus a very annoyed and angry "galing mo talaga manira ng araw, bwiset!"--oh and on my birthday, nonetheless.

Should I still continue praying and hoping you'll respect me and will be sensitive to my feelings someday? That you'll get scared you might lose me if you continue treating me this way? That you'll listen to what I have say and not disregard what I think and feel?

I have been for four years.

When you told me I can't handle you at your worst, I took it as a challenge.

I became more patient. More resilient. More understanding. For you.

Everything for you.

When will I get what I deserve?